lately i've been worried about the future.
i'm not one who worries normally, especially about the future because i have this odd faith that 1)everything eventually works out and rights itself, and 2)things happen for a reason and 3)whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. that said, i'm worried about the future, mostly because i'm so happy right now that i fear change.
i went through a bad spell a little while ago, doubting myself, second guessing everything, and not really liking the person i was becoming (belittling, whiny, angry, shallow); and while it all pops up once in a while still, i'm geniunely happy right now. i mean, sure, i'd like a boy to share it all with, and there's still things in my life that i regret, or wish i could change, but for the most part i'm happy.
i have amazing friends. i can spend time with them individually, all together, or i can take time off and be on my own without feeling lonely. i have great parents who i can talk to about anything. i have a roof over my head, and a room to retreat to when the world is too much to handle. i have five good books waiting to be read on my bedside table. i'm taking classes which i actually enjoy, and am doing well in. i have money to essentially do what i please with. i'm not thrilled with my body, but am in the process of learning to love and accept it. i recognize the validity of my opinions and thoughts and beliefs and hold fast to them.
i'm becoming the girl that i always wanted to be.
and honestly, how does it get better than that?
