so sleepy, but just had one of those quietly joyful days where you ponder various theories on life and thought i'd jot some down.
sometimes i forget about how blessed i am in several areas of my life. i try to not take my friends for granted, make sure they know how important they are, how much the contribute to my life. i use the words "i love you" an obscene amount with them, mostly because, well, i do, and i'm a firm believer in letting people know that.
but days like these, where i'm quietly content to be alone, and recharge my energy are invaluable to my happiness. most people don't know how to deal with me when i'm quiet, because i'm normally so goofy and loud and silly, and i don't often get quiet with people i don't know well or aren't comfortable yet. so then they don't know how to deal with me screening calls, and being inside, and having my headphones on, and not looking people in the eye. sometimes i punk out, and then days like these happen.
i used to hardcore be into alternative therapies and workouts, like yoga and reiki massage and energy sources and chakras, etc. and part of me deep down still believes in treating yourself well, and in the healing power of touch and love, and introspection. there's time where i catch myself being a not so great person, and i try to learn from my mistakes and push myself to be a better daughter, friend, person. this driving obsession to be better, or nicer, or more thoughful towards others sometimes can hinder the learning experience. however, one of the very few things i don't understand in human nature is how people can let themselves become selfish, and closed off, and mean.
sleepy now.
