steph moves tomorrow. it shouldn't seem like such a big deal, since we've spent the last four years in different cities, but ottawa to montreal is miles away from toronto to calgary. literally. i've known her for nine years, almost a decade. she's been my best friend for six. thinking about her leaving makes me tear up, even though i'm not in the same city as her right now. she's always been there when i've gotten home, and maybe it's selfish but that's where i always expected her to stay.
before steph, and aila, and heather, i used to fight with my best friends a lot. there was one friend in particular (who shall remain nameless) who would go weeks at a time without speaking to me because of something i had done, and i eventually thought that this was a normal thing that girls did. i have never fought with any of my girls since then, and realized how much easier it was when there's no complications. there's always an aura of security, safety, and love when they're around.
we had gone up to heath's cottage before i left for toronto (missing aila very much, who was in syracuse), and heath, steph and i snuggled in the hammock, and slept all in the king sized bed together and chatted all night. we talked about non-serious things like boys, and crushes, and food, and drinks that we love, and jokes that we made in the past. we talked about serious things like being scared, and being sad, and being unsure, and boys and crushes. steph drove back home with me that monday morning, and we still hadn't run out of things to discuss or laugh at or point out to one another.
i consider her a sister. she knows everything about me. i know that she loves me, even though we don't say it very often. she's the first person i call in an emergency, or when i find something really funny. i can't even count the phone messages over the past six years, drunken and giggling or sober and crying. or drunken and crying, for that matter. i can tell her things i'm scared to admit to myself. i'm proud of her for everything she's accomplished in the past years, and i know she's proud of me. she knows almost everything about cooking, and first aid, and decorating. she gets a lazy quebecois french eye when she drinks. she likes pirate jokes as much as i do. we're not very sentimental with each other unless it matters. i love her very, very, very, very much, and will miss her almost as much as i love her.
